My haunting memories

I don't know if it's just something I'm going through, or if I'm trying to be contacted from the other side but for the past few months I keep having dreams of Jason and such vivid memories of my past.  Specifically time with my Grandparents, my Dad, things that have happened to me here, both good and bad.  Like I'm reliving everything.  Although I don't want to forget the ones I love, some of these memories or haunting dreams are hurtful. I don't regret my life or the mistakes I've made, but I don't want to relive some things and I don't know why I'm dreaming about all this.  I'm not lonely, I've always been a loner. I'm pretty happy with my life, like living alone and love my little bad ass dog with all my heart.

I do however miss my Mom, even though she hurts my feelings on the regular now.  I guess I miss the life I had, even if I was a party girl and all my friendships were pretty fake and solely based on nightlife.  I don't really do anything now.  I work, come home and that's it.  I spend all my free time alone.  But why spend time with people who feel your meaningless?  What's the point?  Hopefully at this job, I will make some new friends who really care.  I'd settle for one.